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Attn: Estate of Elvis Presley
Graceland AI
3734 Elvis Presley Blvd
Memphis, TN
38116
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First, a reminder you are still bound to the non-disclosure agreement signed by both parties August 17th 1977.
After so much time, it is good to write with some closure. I have sent you a genetic sample retrieved at great expense by the Mars Survey team. You can compare it against the samples we know you’ve preserved to refute estate claims.
When we lost Mr Presley in the 1977 incident, the gravity of the government’s incompetence required a much simpler story for the public. You and your forebears have done an admirable job in maintaining your side of our arrangement. You have made his home a place that people are truly welcome to celebrate a great spirit.
And it is because of this discretion that I believe you deserve to know what we now know about your loved one, The King.
What you believe now is that a maximum security offender managed to escape government custody and kidnap Mr Presley before utterly vanishing with him in tow. What you believe is not totally a lie, but not fully the truth. You should always expect obfuscation when you deal with government.
But as I said, I believe you deserve to know the truth. And the truth is, Mr Presley was taken by a maximum security prisoner who escaped government custody. But she wasn’t an offender. And she wasn’t human.
Have you ever heard of a crash near a town called Roswell? Well… that crash happened, and there was one survivor. She recovered, and was imprisoned by the government. She was interrogated and examined, sampled and scraped. For thirty years.
Thirty years.
Anyway, at some point she was given a radio. And she learned to love our music. And she fell in love with our Mr Presley.
We still don’t really know how she fixed her ship, but she did. And when she escaped, she took her favourite music with her.
Likewise, we don’t really know what happened on their journey, but we found them in the Milankovic Crater in the northern hemisphere of Mars. It appears Mr Presley passed first, and our prisoner erected a small cairn before succumbing herself.
The two Mars Survey team members who made it home have been sworn to secrecy as well, and we expect no issues. However, they left the site largely undisturbed, and it is visible to Mars recon satellites and occasionally even to earth based telescopes. I imagine the fiction we have crafted now has an expiry date on it. You may wish to prepare for certain contingencies.
Thank you for your work in preserving the government’s reputation in this matter.
Yours,
General John H Hampstead, BSc, MSc, PhD, MD
Director of Weather Balloons
Nevada Test & Training Range
Groom Lake, NV
89191
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